In All Pain, There Is a Gift

As you can see I am sort of schizophrenic about turning the big 7-0. Part of me wants to disappear, the other part of me wants to bravely embrace my new number. Hmmm.......when one is schizophrenic they are split between reality and fantasy. My reality is I am almost 70 years old, the fantasy is that I am not one of those people.

The problem with aging is that it is a road with no U-turn. The feeling reminds of me when I was 8 months pregnant with my firstborn. While watching an episode of Dr. Kildare of a woman giving birth I suddenly realized I was going to have to go through that painful experience very soon. There was no turning back. Reality. At 19 years old I was only thinking about becoming a mommy and having a sweet little baby. Fantasy. As you can imagine I had many surprises with motherhood. Yet, for the most part it turned out well.

Things usually turn out well, even difficult things. My mentor, Rubena, used to say (very slowly and with intense blue eyes), "In all pain, there is a gift." Many life events are challenging yet yield great rewards. For example; giving birth, raising a family, going to college, preparing for retirement, growing older.

So, as I shift from denial to acceptance of my new decade, I am looking for the gifts. (Pause) Say, how about the obvious gift? Life! I am alive and, well, very, very blessed by God.

There is a time for everything, and there is a season for every activity under heaven: 

    a time to be born and a time to die, 

    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    a time to weep and a time to laugh,

    a time to mourn and a time to dance......Ecclesiastes 3